3.11.2011

Just Watch Me.

Is it bad to look back a few months and say, "I want to go back"??

Um... Well, that's what I've been doing. I want to go back, before the storm ever began. I want to be on that mountain top instead of low in this valley.

I feel like a mountain climber...

I fell a couple hundred (thousand?) feet but was saved because my rope caught onto a boulder. A sigh of relief escapes my lips but how do I know that the rope isn't going to rip? I need to start climbing again.

(The trial was bringing me down & down.. Yet I was able to hold on to some part of my sanity.. And I didn't fall low enough that I would never be able to get back up again.)

I lost my footing, which caused me to slip and fall straight to my "death." Oh, joy right? Not. It's definitely not the BEST feeling to be 'free falling' through air, knowing that in 500 feet you are going to die. I am pretty positive that when you feel that tug of the rope (getting stuck), you would be thanking God you didn't fall further.

(I slipped on something. It was too fast to even tell what caused it. I knew I started falling but was too shocked to scream out and cry for help. But God held on to the "rope" and didn't let me slip far away from Him.)

Well, I just hung there... (for awhile) ...
What do I do? Climb back up? Or lower myself and end the climb?

(It's taken me a few months to do SOMETHING.)

Wait...
I shouldn't be giving up. A mountain climber never gives up. That feeling when I'm on top beats the pain and suffering it took me to get up there! My left hand digs into a hole, then my right. Pulling myself up, my muscles screamed. I lost a lot of strength but this will build even more. Keep going. Left hand, left foot. Right hand, right foot. Same pattern.

(And recently, I realized I can't give up. No matter how low I  fell. I'm weakened but getting back to the top will build my strength. I just have to keep pushing on.)



I'll show everyone that I can get back on top. There's going to be blood and a few scrapes on my hands but I'll make it.

Just watch me.

*The part in italics is my real life and the rest of it is how I express it.*


1 comment:

Alina Belle said...

WOW... thats just what I needed... Thanks Meagan! Love you! We'll make it!