For many many months, I wasn't feeling well. It was like I had something stuck inside of me that pushed everything about me (bubbly personality, a little ball of joy, Miss Sunshine, full of energy) into a little ball and filled the rest of the space with emptiness [cold]. It has definitely not been the best part of my life, for sure. It's one of those trials where you just want to go back to the year before lol. I'm telling you, I was the total opposite of who I really am. Oh my, talk about craziness. I started to get really sad, kept to myself a lot, and ZERO energy.. Ahhhh it was all bad!!
If you think that I am wallowing around in this pile of mud (not wanting to get out), think again! I've been pushing myself harder to get back to my old self. I've been getting into the Word, praying, keeping in contact with friends/etc. For 3 weeks (up until a week ago), I slept almost ALL day. Not kidding. I told you, NO ENERGY. I didn't want to do anything. No piano, no singing, no dress up for church (lol!). It was terrible!!!!
But I want to let y'all know, you can always get back up :) no matter what kind of trial it is. Whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, or whatever else!!
This morning, I was thinking about Hope Corps... and deeply thinking about wanting to be the "old Meagan" who had such a burden for the lost, she would weep in front of you talking about it. This "new Meagan" was getting on my nerves lol. I just couldn't handle it anymore!!! I didn't feel for those burdens anymore and I didn't want to do the things I used to want to do before (Hope Corps).
Within a minute, I started to feel God sooooo strong where I was sitting. Tears welled up in my eyes and I felt like He was telling me "I'm still here. That 'old' Meagan is still inside of you waiting to come back out." I cried and spoke in Tongues. I can't even describe the feelings I had.. I was.. overwhelmed, to say the least. It was a special touch from Heaven.
Later this evening, Bro. Boone (evangelist from Mississippi) preached a message titled "The Anchor." The scripture he used was Haggai 1:13, "Then spake Haggai the LORD's messenger in the LORD's message unto the people, saying, I am with you, saith the LORD."
It's a good feeling to know that the Lord is with me through everything. I love my God.