Last weekend, my dad and I ran sound for a Spanish concert/service "Creere". Even though I AM 1/2 Mexican, I don't speak Spanish lol how sad is that!? They had a translator for the services though so I was able to pick up bits and pieces of the preaching or else I would have been lost! Bro. Bobby Jimenez was preaching about believing (Creere means I believe). One phrase I was able to hear over the roar of worship, was "I AM NOT A TROPHY IN HELL!" It really stuck with me Saturday night and all of Sunday.
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I'm going to be honest, I have been struggling with discouragement,
hurts, being prayerless, and a lack of worship.
hurts, being prayerless, and a lack of worship.
I was being lazy about prayer; even though the Bible has a couple things to say about it..
Acts 6:4 "But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word."
Romans 12:12 "...continuing instant in prayer;"
I was always running sound or on the praise team so I felt like I needed to focus on those tasks instead of being in the altar and worshipping. I was discouraged about not being used by God. I was hurt over a lot of things.. There was a CONSTANT struggle in my heart and my mind. Almost like a war inside my head.. It was exhausting and it made me weak spiritually. It's like I was fighting with everything-using the last drops of prayer, worship, and anointing I had left in me. Eventually that supply runs out if you don't keep refilling it..
I was at the point of giving up (several times), but every time I prayed to God and said "I need strength, some encouragement... I don't WANT to give up this fight" .. He always answered my prayer. An elder would walk up and say how much they appreciate or love me. I would get a hug. There was some spiritual strength... so I had a few more drops to use.
What I didn't know... The devil was already polishing my spot on a shelf in hell. He figured eventually, I would be too weak, get too exhausted, and give up. He knew I didn't have a solid prayer life, I was hardly worshipping, he would dig at the scars on my heart and place more discouragement and lies in my head.
So at that Saturday night service... I realized, the devil thinks I'M HIS TROPHY. It weighed on my mind the next Sunday morning service. I wanted to go up in the altar and worship but I didn't. Sunday night I had a made up mind, at one point in this service, I'm going to show the devil that I'm NOT his trophy!
That is exactly what I did. We were on the platform for choir and as we ended a powerful song, I thought "worship now while I have the chance." I ran the aisles and once I got back to the altar, I let God take over and I worshipped! With everything that I had! I gave it my all! I needed the breakthrough and God came into the sanctuary and blessed me with a fresh anointing and sparked a fire back in my heart.
Take that devil! I'm not your trophy!
Don't be a trophy in hell!
Pray! Fast! Worship!
Comments
Thanks.... Dolores from IL.
May the fresh oil be applied and you over flow!
I know what it's like to have fought discouragement, and like you said, even being distracted by doing things. Good things, like singing at church, or being involved. But I have found that if we don't have prayer, we don't have anything. When prayer becomes a priority and a delight, it will change your life. Thanks for posting this; keep the faith and know there are many others serving God, too! ;)
-Jen Connell